The Migrants Part 2: Are You Ready to Blend?

The Migrant’s Dilemma: Navigating Identity and Belonging
Blending In: Exploring the Dynamics of Cultural Integration
Journey to Homeland: Reflections on Adaptation and Resilience
From Struggle to Triumph: Unveiling the Essence of Migration

Exploring the Essence of Clubs: Unveiling the Fabric of Social Bonds

Have you ever been part of a club? I’m confident you have! Perhaps not the stereotypical exclusive golf club miles out of reach, but a club nonetheless—a gathering of individuals bound by a shared interest or objective. So, what can be a good example of a club? Well, consider any of the following entities: a family, a fraternity, a sorority, an organization, ring, group, guild, society, league, mob, order, union, association, outfit, federation, or any amalgamation thereof. They all embody the essence of a club. We, as humans, are inherently social creatures. As such, each of us must have been part of an overwhelming number of club-like gatherings throughout our lives.

Sorry! This ain’t for you!

Embracing Newcomers: Navigating the Path to Acceptance

When a new member joins any club, it often triggers initial resentments and a feeling of ‘they aren’t one of us!’ However, sooner or later, they often learn to embody the main characteristics of the group, and soon almost everybody accepts the newcomer as one of their own. So, I guess for any club membership, there is an original initiation period where the newcomers are kept on the periphery of the group until they can learn the essentials that will allow them to better blend in with the established members. It’s like a rite of passage, guiding them towards integration within the group’s dynamics and culture.

Preserving Identity Amidst Adaptation

It’s a no-brainer that if anyone can do their homework to learn about the dynamics and culture of any group beforehand, they can more easily blend and integrate with their desired groups! Of course, as you can tell, I can do much on my end to blend better. If I am destined to live in an alternate land and have my offspring live there thereafter, I must master the language to communicate better! Additionally, I must immerse myself in the local customs and traditions, learning idioms and expressions that are unique to the culture. Moreover, I must adapt my mannerisms and dress sense to align with the norms of the community. Finally, I should make some minor changes to my name to make it easier for those who have been there long before me to feel comfortable calling my name without stumbling. However, I must add that I am utterly against a total change of first and last names to the point that no one can trace our ancestral origins. In my opinion, this is close to deception and hiding one’s identity. In a nutshell, ‘if you aren’t content with your heritage, don’t expect anyone else to be!

Your name must reflect who you truly are!

The Challenge of Acceptance and Resentment

I don’t know about you guys, but for me, I always have to remind myself to be more tolerant of newcomers and to never forget that there are and will be many more situations where I’ll find myself at the periphery of the core groups. But no matter how I look at it, I tend to accept more easily only those who look like me, act like me, or behave like me! Is this an innate impulse that is imprinted from the moment that we open our eyes into the world and see our parents, siblings, and so many others who, more or less, look like them? I’m convinced that if I had been raised by apes like Tarzan was, I would have been inherently trustworthy of apes.

‘I’m Tarzan I love the apes!’

Honestly, liking people who aren’t like me appears to be extremely hard to do! It requires confidence in oneself and a high moral standard to care for humanity. It would be needless to add that if I feel that the newcomers not only do not respect me or acknowledge my seniority, but also may potentially jeopardize my ability to function optimally or earn better in my homeland, this may lead to a strong sense of resentment.

If you think they are waiting with smiling faces to greet you, think again!

Reflections on Wisdom and Relevance within Groups

But the more I reflect on it, the more convinced I become that individuals who have been in any spatiotemporal position for an extended period must have earned a natural right—what some might call the ‘grandparenting privilege of passage!’ Is this the essence of ‘wisdom’? Is wisdom solely defined in spatiotemporal terms? Must we establish a sense of temporal and spatial continuity within any group to be recognized as wiser individuals? Is there a point where our wisdom becomes irrelevant? Am I mistaken if I believe that as long as our groups, no matter how large, value our wisdom, we will continue to be relevant and have a purpose to serve within our groups?

I guess I’m beginning to figure out how to make sense out of these! As long as my seniority serves the purpose of guiding newcomers to my tribe or group, I still feel I have a purpose to serve. For me, this aligns with our traditional outlook that within each family, the grandparents play the role of holding the torch and establishing the clan’s wisdom, culture, or rules of engagement.

What is this picture all about? You decide!

The Quest for Belonging!

For me, personally, the process of considering a new land as my homeland and my heartland was an excruciating journey of learning and adaptation that began long before settling in for more than half a century in a place that I have considered my home for a long time. But no matter how I look at it, I neither belong entirely to this land nor to the one where I first opened my eyes to the world, as I have become a hybrid of both. Undoubtedly, there are many places in the world where, no matter how hard anyone tries, they can never fully be accepted or welcomed. On the other hand, there are a limited number of vast lands that have been more welcoming to cultural diversities and act as magnets to attract people from all corners of the world. The merging of various cultures on these fertile lands has been the cradle of new discoveries and inventions that have propelled these lands to the forefront in relation to all other countries of the world. However, it’s worth noting that all of this is changing amidst population explosions, as there doesn’t appear to be enough space or resources for everyone to be fully accepted and included.

It’s all their fault!


I must confess that as I started thinking and writing the Migrant blog, I found myself in a choppy situation of my own making! The more I reflected on it, the more I realized that it all boils down to this: If we’re having trouble adapting and fitting into this or that land, maybe we need to look elsewhere to blend in more naturally and truly call it ‘our homeland’! And if we find no place to blend, well, trust me when I say, ‘that’s life,’ and as they say, it ain’t meant to be easy! But beware, if you’ve always been here or there and yet you don’t feel that you live in your dream land, don’t blame it on anyone else as all the blame stops with ‘YOU’!

It says, “That place is the most beautiful place”!

Well, I have much more to say on these topics, particularly in relation to excellence in longevity. And more importantly, I have yet to tackle this grand question: ‘what land in the whole world is by far the most fertile land for holistic excellence of our longevities?’ So please allow me to bring it all into a reasonable conclusion in the next episode of the Migrant: “Not All Migrants are Created Equal”.

One more before you go! If you missed the first episode of ‘The Migrant,’ please feel free to catch up here:

Dr. Eftekar (Dr. E) is the founder and head coach of the Center for Conquest of Longevity and Northwestern Medical Review. A unique attribute of Dr. E is his well-rounded academic background that, in addition to the science of medicine, extends over several other disciplines such as physiology of aging and longevity, philosophy of science and medicine, and integrated kinesiology.

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